Archive for July, 2008

Supporting Your Spouse

Tuesday, July 29th, 2008

By

Todd De Haven

While baking a small batch of her famous chocolate chip cookies the other day, Fran set aside four cookies without chocolate chips for Steve and Erney Poenitz’s canine “daughter” Happy Dog who, as most of you know, is a frequent visitor. Matter of fact Happy Dog even dropped in to visit his feline friends while we were away.

Oliver, one of our cats who was sitting on the kitchen floor intently watching asked, “Why mother are you making four separate cookies without chocolate chips?” Fran replied, “For Happy Dog dear,” to which Oliver said, “That’s not right simply because you don’t bake them for us!” Fran stopped in the middle of spooning cookie dough onto the baking sheet, turned and with a surprised tone said, “But Oliver, you cats don’t even like cookies….as a matter of fact, you won’t even eat anything but cat food!”"That makes no difference,” continued Oliver. “Why don’t you take us visiting just as Aunt Erney takes Happy Dog. Whenever we go visiting, no one does anything special for us.”

With a now incredulous look on her face, Fran replied, “Oliver, the only place you go to visit is Dr. Doug Woolsey’s Greene County Veterinary Hospital!” “My point exactly,” rejoined Oliver. “Any time you ever take us anywhere is when you take us to the vet’s. That certainly doesn’t make me a happy camper.”

At this point, our only “daughter” Jennifer joined the conversation with, “Don’t get upset over Oliver, mother. You know he’s nothing more than a brain dead spoiled brat. Matter of fact, if he wants to be a happy camper you should take him up to Kinser park and tether him to a flag pole, preferably when a thunderstorm is coming.”

I had just entered the kitchen and knew what was coming. Just as Oliver leaped toward his sister, I snagged him in mid-air. “No you don’t,” I said sternly. I then figured I’d really drive him up the wall by saying, “You’re just angry because Jennifer probably whupped you good this morning.” That was definitely the wrong thing to say because as I was holding Oliver, he got so mad that forgetting he was in my arms, his claws came out and into my arm. Both Oliver and I yelled simultaneously, “You’re gonna DIE!” – he at Jennifer and I at him. Jennifer took off and hid under the sofa just as I, blood dripping down my forearms, had to release Oliver.

While I couldn’t hang onto the little monster, his mother immediately stopped him in his tracks as he went to go after Jennifer, merely by yelling, “Oliver!” Yeah, he’s as terrified of his mother as I am.

As I was patting the blood off my arm, Fran turned to me and said, “You know, you’re really an idiot.” So much for supporting your spouse.

Today is your last chance to register your pet for a wonderful portrait tomorrow from Noon to 8:00 pm at our Adoption Center on Hal Henard Road! You could even make it a family portrait with your pet if you wish! For just a sitting fee of $15.00 (which goes to help our animals) you receive one free portrait with the opportunity to order several more at a very reasonable cost. But you must drop by our Animal Adoption Center by 4:00 pm today to make your appointment and pay the sitting fee. You will not only treasure your portrait, but they also make absolutely wonderful gifts! So don’t miss out on this golden opportunity! 

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Animal Friendly License Plates

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008

By

Todd De Haven

 

Did you know that over the past three years, nearly 26,000 animals have been spayed or neutered as a result of grants from the sale of the state’s Animal Friendly automobile license plates? These plates, a type of license tag commonly referred to as a vanity plate, feature the phrase “Animal Friendly” and a cute little puppy and kitten as its logo. The ones that I have seen begin with the letters “AF” for “Animal Friendly.”Grants from the sale of these plates are awarded to animal shelters, of which we’re proud to say we’re one, that meet stringent requirements. While there is never enough money to fulfill the requests of all participating agencies, the equitable dispersion of receipts from the tags really helps and we’re doing everything to stretch our grant as far as we can. The more of these plates that are sold, the more animals can be spayed or neutered.So if you’re an animal person and are thinking about possibly getting a “vanity plate,” we urge you to consider the very attractive “Animal Friendly” license plate. Not only does it signify where your heart lies but its cost goes for a very worthwhile purpose in your own community.

   

I read a letter to the editor this past week wherein the individual, though describing themselves as an “animal person” and who promotes low cost spay or neutering, states that the evidence demonstrates that mandatory spay and neutering doesn’t work. While that may be true in some areas, there is a mountain of evidence that mandatory spay/neutering is successful. 

Since introducing mandatory spay/neutering in the mid 90’s, Los Angeles has seen a drop in it’s shelter intake by more than half.The writer continued that mandatory spay/neutering would only serve to hurt the responsible pet owner as many cannot afford to spay or neuter their pet. I’m sorry, but along with pet ownership goes responsibility. The overwhelming majority of truly responsible pet owners already have their pets spayed or neutered. And while the following is a sticky subject, it’s just a fact of life. Depending upon what type of pet is selected, It doesn’t have to cost all that much to own a pet. But no one should adopt an animal for which they are ill prepared to render proper care, be that financially, emotionally or physically. If you are not prepared for whatever reason to invest something around an average of ten to fifteen dollars a month in a dog (this includes proper veterinary medical care) over the next ten to fifteen years, then you shouldn’t get a dog. It’s just that simple. It is cruel to adopt an animal and then improperly feed it, improperly care for it and refuse what should be reasonably foreseen and required medical attention for the animal, especially if it is in pain.

I once receive the most absurd phone call I can ever recall when years ago, when the discussion of mandatory pet licensing was being held, a woman called me up and said that she couldn’t afford a three or four dollar license for her dog and if mandatory licensing occurred, she’d have to kill the animal. Well then, if she couldn’t afford four dollars for a license, how could she afford to feed the animal? What happened when the dog got sick and required veterinary medical attention?

Are there going to be people who don’t meet the above criteria but whose dogs live to a ripe old age? Of course there are. It’s just that the deck is overwhelmingly stacked against those folks. We know, because our Animal Adoption Center has to take in pets owned by people who couldn’t afford them and therefore just abandoned them. It happens all the time. Does it mean that someone that cannot afford a dog shouldn’t have a pet? Of course not. There are any variety of pets that are less expensive to own than a dog or a cat.

What I’m saying is that pet ownership means responsibility for a living creature that is solely depending upon you for it’s health, survival and happiness. Please ponder that last sentence before adopting anything. You and your prospective pet will benefit.

 

 

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A Memorable Couple

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008

By

Todd De Haven

This is an animal column (just in case you hadn’t noticed) but I nevertheless just have to take this opportunity to tell you about the most marvelous couple Fran and I recently met on our Caribbean Cruise. While awaiting entry into the dining room one evening, we struck up a conversation with an elderly couple who told us they were frequent cruisers. They introduced themselves as Abe and Julie Smith, formerly of Manhattan but now residing in Levittown, Pennsylvania.

I told Abe and Julie that I was really interested in ocean liners, especially the trans Atlantic liners of years ago, mentioning two, the names of which wouldn’t be recognized by anyone not very familiar with such vessels. Lo and behold, Julie had sailed on them both as a young girl…. in 1930 and 1931! Then Abe dropped the other shoe; he and Julie will soon be married seventy years and they started dating seventy-four years ago in 1934!

Here were two marvelously interesting people, in obvious good health (Abe only uses a cane), who travel frequently, by themselves no less and at the age of 92 for Abe and 90 for Julie! In a subsequent “Marriage game show” on board the ship, (three married couples of varying lengths of wedded bliss are pared off against one another), Abe and Julie captured the hearts of the overwhelming majority of the 3,600 passengers – not to mention while acing the game! And just what do all of our group think was the greatest part?

During the game whenever the wives stood up from their chairs or were escorted onto the stage in the presence of their husbands, who was the only husband who stood up? Yup! It was Abe! The majority of today’s husbands may have forgot their manners but there’s one elderly gentleman out there who didn’t. Chivalry is still alive after all, albeit awfully sick. I want to remind everyone that portrait time for you and your pet is almost here. On Sunday, July 27th from Noon until 8:00 pm, your Humane Society is sponsoring a golden opportunity for you to have a portrait photograph taken of your pet; or for that matter, you can have your entire family’s portrait taken. For only a fifteen dollar session fee (which comes to us), you will even receive one 8×10 portrait free with the opportunity to purchase more if you wish! I mean, c’mon now sports fans, you can’t beat them apples and what a great way to help our animals! As appointment times are limited and the process is by appointment only, please call now to insure you don’t miss out. Just call our Get ‘Em Done Spay/Neuter Clinic at 639-7949 to make your appointment.

Finally, there always has to be a glitch somewhere. On the way home from the most marvelous vacation of Fran’s and my life, I suffered food poisoning in northern Virginia which delayed our arrival home by one day. This caused me to miss not just a Humane Society Board meeting (in the over eleven years I’ve been a member I think I’ve only missed one, maybe two at the most), but one to which I’d really been looking forward. At this month’s meeting we inducted our four newest Board members: Darren LaFrance, Doris Goodwin, Gayle Rexroat and Carol Wainwright, four truly committed individuals, into our organization. I am so very sorry I was unable to attend but I know you join with me in officially welcoming them to our Board of Directors.

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About Some Yankees and Their Animals

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008

By

Todd De Haven

After returning from our Caribbean Cruise, I took a day to drive up into the Hudson Valley where I used to live, to visit with some of my buddies. This included two members of probably the most highly trained unit of any law enforcement organization in the entire State of New York, the New York Encon State Police. In addition to having all of the responsibilities of the regular New York State Trooper including enforcement of vehicle and traffic laws as well as the normal jobs cops generally do, Encon Troopers are additionally charged with specialized enforcement regarding environmental laws and receive extensive training in all aspects of hazardous wastes, etc. As if that’s not enough, they also enforce New York State game and fishing laws (much like our own TWRA officers).

Talk about feeling inferior! All of the guys I got together with (probably around fifteen) of whom a couple are in their low to mid fifties, still sport those barrel chests, 34-38 inch waists, enormous biceps and now the obligatory wrap around sunglasses (except for a couple of the older guys who remain loyal to the old tear drop models). Gawrsh, when I “pulled the pin” (that’s yankee lawman talk for retired) I remember most all of us being physical wrecks; or…..did it just seem that way after I became one? Anyhoo…. my two Encon buddies; Troopers L.M. “Lou” Bello and N.J. “Neil” Watt both have pets. Lou, Neil and Neil’s wife Diane (Lou’s wife Brenda couldn’t make it) got together for lunch. Of course with their specialized uniforms and broad brimmed stetsons just tilted forward, New York Encon Troopers always get the lookers and Diane is just as lovely when last I saw her. But I assure you, notwithstanding their jobs, these two guys and their wives are true animal people.

Neil has two labs each weighing in at about ninety pounds; 9 year old Bear and three year old Piper (Neil is Irish/Scottish or something like that and plays the bag pipes – yet another New York cop tradition, hence the name “Piper”). Diane and Neil, who live in Gardiner, New York about ninety miles North of New York City in surroundings that look a lot like Greene County, recently adopted a small Calico cat they named Cali. Every evening, Cali walks between the two Labs and they go down to the pond to visit the fish. Cali, try though she might, never succeeds in gaining a snack. Bear and Piper absolutely adore the cat and make it a point to protect her from any coyotes that may be lurking about. It’s really cute to watch.

Lou and Brenda on the other hand, favor smaller dogs and have two Schnauzers; Zoie, who while she weighs about 22 pounds is all muscle and Pepper, a soon to be five year old Schnauzer. The two love to wrestle but when Pepper sees any human come into sight, she stops whatever she’s doing, immediately runs over to the person, throws herself on her back and begs to have her tummy stroked.

In case you may be wondering, Neil and Diane’s two sons and Lou’s son, are all in law enforcement. Up there, it’s kinda’ like a tradition if your father is in either the law enforcement or fire fighting profession.

Meanwhile, back in Staten Island, we met my stepson’s beau, the extremely attractive Sherri Izzo (when you look a lot like Bruce Willis, you don’t have to have the uniform to attract the “lookers”). Sherri and her daughter Laura have a true menagerie in a Beagle named “Jakk” and two parakeets, “Bazooka” and “Juicy Fruit.” Don’t ask me how they got their names. Remember folks, these people live in New York City, okay? Anyway, Bazooka and Juicy Fruit spend their day dive bombing Jakk who, by the time the girls get home in the afternoon, is a total wreck. Jakk has asked for the last three Christmases for Santa to bring him some anti-aircraft artillery but as of the writing of this column, Bazooka and Juicy Fruit are still doing their dive bombing routine. I told Jakk to get hold of Snoopy. He could provide Jakk with flying lessons so that Jakk can go after the Parakeets as Snoopy goes after the Red Baron. Stay tuned sportsfans, I’ll let you know the outcome…..rat-a-tat-tat-tat.

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Keeping In Touch

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008

by

Todd De Haven

As I alluded to last week, Fran and I were recently away on a Caribbean Cruise, a Birthday/Anniversary present for Fran from her Niece, Adelaide Laurie whom many of you will remember as the Staten Island Cat Lady. During our absence, our “adopted daughter” Chris Schackleford cared for our brood as she so wonderfully did last time we were away. Periodic updates, including poems from our feline children, provided an overwhelming sense of comfort and closeness. Being immense, Royal Caribbean’s Explorer of the Seas is 1021 Ft. in length, 127 ft in the beam (width), 210 feet from the water line to the top (fourteen passenger decks) and weighs 138,000 tons.

This enormous ship provides virtually every amenity….including the power to keep in touch via cell phone and internet, even when sailing through the Atlantic ocean 600 miles off the coast of the U.S. Some of these come at additional cost that can, if one isn’t careful, result in a considerable and unexpected expense. As an example, never answer your cell phone at sea if you cannot afford to spend a mortgage payment to pay for the call. It’s best in fact, to turn your phone off. I speak from experience. While enjoying a relaxing, and superb lunch in the main dining room, my cell phone rang. Not thinking, I answered it. I was stunned to hear our cat Winston on the other end. After dropping my glass of water into the middle of my shrimp scampi, I managed to stammer, “How dd-d-d-d-did you call me?” “It was simple,” Winston replied, “I just punched the buttons on the phone that mommy does when she wants to reach you.” Are you out of your mind?” I roared, and why are you calling me anyway?” “I wasn’t calling YOU,” said Winston, I was calling someone who cares, Mommy!”

By this time, I realized both the tone and volume of my voice was not only attracting the attention of my fellow diners, but additionally my wife Fran’s face reflected a look that bespoke volumes…..of horror stories. I therefore handed the phone to her and said, “You better handle this.” She replied, “Yes I should, before they throw you over the side of the ship!”

During the subsequent and lengthy conversation, Winston complained that he was always hungry despite the fact that his “Aunt” Chris was giving him more food than he really was supposed to get. Fran then told Winston that was all he was getting and to not call us on the cell phone again. I then turned to Fran and told her, “You’re paying for that phone call because it really was for you.” She just smiled in her patented sarcastic way and replied, “No dear, you’re the one who answered the phone.”

At least that was it for the phone calls…..or so I thought. Later that evening during a formal dinner in the grand dining room and as the Captain of the Explorer of the Seas gave his evening report over the PA system to all 3,600 passengers and 1,200 crew, his normally pleasant and upbeat voice dropped to an ominously menacing growl as he stated, “Oh, and would passenger Mr. Todd De Haven from Deck Nine please arrange to have someone feed Winston, whatever or whomever Winston may be. We have more important things to do than to answer phone calls placed to ‘The Captain on the bridge,’ from Greeneville, Tennessee.” I turned to Fran who looked on the verge of passing out from embarrassment and said, “He’s your son.”

 

  

I remind everyone to mark their calendars for Saturday, July 27th and not to make any plans. Why? Well simply because, I have something you’re not going to want to miss. More about that next week.

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Our Cat Sitter Welcomes a New Addition

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008

By

Todd De HavenI commence this week’s offering with congratulations to David and Christina Shackleford on the birth of their new grandson, Franklin Wise Schackleford. The newborn came into this world out in the county where his mother gave birth to him in, of all places, a barn. Franklin weighed in at approximately 76 pounds. He’s a healthy little tyke, that’s for sure. I think 76 pounds is about right for a foal, isn’t it?

I have to tell you that Fran’s niece, Adelaide (you know, the Staten Island Cat Lady), is once again taking us on a Caribbean cruise. The woman is just too much. Anyway, it was almost suppertime as Fran was packing and I was telling her how much I was looking forward to real New York Pizza at Brother’s Pizza on Staten Island. I said it would be a perfect beginning to all that prime rib and lobster on the ship. Fran just kind of looked at my waist with a disgusted look and said, “All you seem to be able to think about is your stomach.”

Immediately, our cat Felix jumped right into the suitcase Fran was packing and exclaimed, “I’m going too, if only as far as Staten Island for the pizza!” If Felix had bounded on top of her clothes, it’s doubtful that he would have lived until supper, much less Staten Island Pizza. But since it was my clothes she was packing, Fran just smiled sweetly at him and replied, “I’m sorry honey, but you can’t go. We promise, though to make it up to you. Now sweetheart, please take your claws out of your father’s good sport coat and while doing so, try not to snag too many threads.”

Well, we have made it to Staten Island and board the ship tomorrow. We heard from Grandmother Christina, who as she did two years ago, is taking care of our cats while we’re away. Instead of telling you, I am going to just copy into this column, the e-mail we received from her this morning:

“Day 1

I walked into your house and I was greeted by Weaver. He informed me that there was a yellow note pad on the table and I should read it carefully. So, I put the mail in the box and read the notes on the yellow note pad. I scooped the poop in the cat room and made sure everyone had fresh water and dry food. Weaver said, “What about the can food?” and I said, “I am sure you had that this morning before your Mom and Dad left.” He rolled his eyes and said, “Whatever….” Then I went into the bedroom where I was greeted by Winston and Felix. I scooped poop, filled up the water bowls, put more dry food in the bowl on the window seat and on the dresser. I started to leave and noticed Winston quietly meowing and looking at his empty bowl. I said, “Winston, what is wrong?”

He looked up at me with those sad eyes and said, “My bowl is empty.” I said, “Winston, it says on the yellow paper and on your dry food container that you only get one cup of RD a day and I am sure your Mom and Dad gave you that before they left this morning.” Winston then said, “How do you know they did? Don’t you think if they did there would be at least a little bit still in there? My bowl is empty!” I said, “I know your parents and they would not have left you with nothing to eat.” Winston said, “Well….the yellow note pad says that you are suppose to give me one cup of RD each day and technically you have not given me my RD today…” So I thought to myself….who am I to argue with a cat? He does have a point.

I said to Winston, “You are RIGHT!! Here is your one cup of RD for today!!” With his mouth full of food he mumbled, “You are the GREATEST Aunt Chris!!!” As I was leaving, Oliver made an appearance. After he noticed it wasn’t his mom or dad he disappeared…. As for Jenny, she was on the table in the dinning room and as I walked by she gave me a little hiss. I was feeling the love….”

Now do you see why we feel so secure in leaving our children? How in the world could you get someone better to watch over them.

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